I hate to be political, but I love football.

Man, you know I really didn’t want to go there, but someone needed to say it…I love me some tackle football.  Now that we have that out of the way, I think I may have a solution for all of this. Let’s just not have the National Anthem played before games.  I know, I know, that’s a little radical (and not in a 360 anti-Casper flip kinda way), but really why do we even need any audio at all?  I’m here to watch football (sorry, not sorry) and I really don’t need all the music and pageantry with the scoreboards lighting up telling me when I should cheer and when I shouldn’t.  The only sounds any true American needs to hear at a game are the refs whistles blowing, the Mike crying out defensive adjustments, and the sweet sound of pad on pad, helmet on helmet contact so raw you can actually hear the CTE as it happens.  That’s football, baby.  

Call me old fashioned, but my father’s father didn’t fight Rocket Man Kim’s daddy overseas so I could have a Redcoat like Ozzy Osbourne have his “music” blared into my ear drums as football players run onto the gridiron (aka God’s Country).  Spoils go to the victors, and when you kneel for the anthem and then stand up for “God Save the Queen” maybe it’s time we rethink some things.  Believe me, I’m sympathetic to the overall message.  My uncle is a cop in Central Mass, which is why I take a knee every time I visit his lake house.  Usually it’s to untie the boat, but I think about these things simultaneously.  I don’t agree what Cheeto Jesus has been saying on Twitter and at his self-fellating pep rallies.  The only divisiveness I accept in the country are between those who think Joe Flacco is an elite quarterback and intelligent human beings.  Can you imagine if NFL owners actually had to fire players or personnel for kneeling during the anthem?  There would definitely be at least one guy to walk behind Marvin Lewis and push their foot into the back of his knee during the Star Spangled Banner.

If you are really woke, you’ve heard the #fakenews that Steelers players were fined $1mil each for not being on the field for the anthem.  Alejandro Villanueva, a decorated Veteran, chose to stand on the field for the national anthem, while the rest of the Steelers waited in the tunnel.  Once again, a vet uses his superior skills to decipher intel and thus protect his country, his image and also his wallet.  A shrewd move indeed, had the fines been real.

Ultimately, the call from the POTUS for Americans to #BoycottNFL is akin to asking Americans to #BoycottSex.  There’s only so much Madden/masturbating one can do before they need the real thing.  I for one, am confident that I will never be able to keep my eyedicks out of the pussy of tackle football, and I’m just as confident the rest of the Ben Roethlisberger’s of America won’t stand, or take no for an answer to it either.

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